7. Thwack! - Dragon Quest IV
Now I can imagine a few of you might be looking at this entry with quite a confused expression on your faces, for not only is "Thwack!" a brilliantly silly name for a spell, but also because it's an instant death spell so what is something so powerful doing on a list of terrible magic?
Well what makes "Thwack!" go from powerful to pungent is that the only person in your party that can cast it isn't controlled by the player and has AI scrappy enough to give you tetanus. This means that you'll often just watch Kyril just spam the spell on enemies that are immune to it, or at the very worst time such as when your party is absolutely howling out for a healing spell or item.
"Mate me arms just come off can you chuck us a bandage?"
"I mean I COULD but there's a monster right here and wouldn't it look great if I just *imitates slicing noises*?"
"Yup go ahead mate go on, I'm sure that this internal bleeding will sort itself out"
*Kyril misses attack*
"What the hell happened?"
"Oh, forgot to mention, on the NES version of the game I'm bugged and can't hit with this spell at all"
Yes that's right! Not only do you have zero control over your party members but they also have zero percent chance of hitting with this potentially powerful spell. Great. It makes you wonder if Kyril spells their name with a K because that's the resigned sound you make as you watch your group get wiped over and over again.