It almost seems like an act of sabotage on Nintendo's part that the worst Mario game to date wasn't released on their own hardware. Perhaps they were spiting their face by cutting Mario's little button nose off, but maybe other platforms just aren't good enough for the Mushroom Kingdom's finest turtle-stomper?
Super Mario Run is by no means abhorrent - in spite of his profession, it's virtually impossible for Mario to plumb to such depths - but there's only so much you can expect from an auto-runner. And you have to play it on a phone, which automatically makes it unbearable.
There's precisely one useful application for games controlled with a dreadful touch screen, and that's as a form of punishment for criminals.
Mario may run endlessly, but your patience may not.
Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know).
He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.