These Horror Video Games SUCK!

If there's one thing you can say about Dead Island, outside of "Lol what are you thinking with that special edition bust mate?" it's that the original game, and whatever is left of the sequel were incredibly fun titles, mixing together a healthy dose of explosive brain matter and one-liner patter to make a comedy horror title rivaling the likes of Dead Rising.

Escape From Dead Island though? Well let me put it this way, if I were locked in a room with Hitler, this game and two bullets, I'd force him to play this game at gunpoint and shoot anyone who tried to stop me. The premise here is that everything you thought you knew about Dead Island, you know the horror, the tension, the....actual fun, has all been stripped away and in its place, you have a cel-shaded game that admittedly looks the business but fails to deliver any of it with its lukewarm gameplay.

The controls feel like playing with tepid cat sick, both sticky and slippery at the same time (don't ask me how I know that) and the level design and enemy programming feels like it's been lifted from an asset flip game. Hell, they haven't even been lifted correctly as the amount of !*$% game-breaking bugs on show here is offensive. Time and time again you can glitch out and have to replay sections over and over, and trust me one time was bad enough.

You know when people describe some media as "switch your brain off" experiences? Well to enjoy this you'd have to be braindead going into it, as Escape From Dead Island is, much like its main douchebag protagonist, a thoroughly unenjoyable experience.