These Racing Games SUCK!

So. If you go to the Wikipedia page for the PS1 game Cosmic Race you won't find much seeing as the title is relatively obscure, but what you will find is something that shook me to my very core.

Cosmic Race is a spaceship-racing game.

That's all there is when it comes to its gameplay. Seven words (or six and a half if you're going to be technical about it) to sum up its entire essence. Seems like something's amiss right? Well, what should have been a warning not to open Pandora's box of pain was ignored by yours truly as I loaded up a copy and witnessed something akin to an intense acid trip AND three-day festival comedown all at once.

Cosmic Race is more than just a spaceship-racing game. It is a waking nightmare.

So after you've selected your "Sonic OC Do Not Steal" Deviant Art post-it note pilot, and let's face it we all chose GIGA-CHAD LEO, you then get to select from a series of courses that looks as if you stared directly into the sun but also had pink eye at the same time. Like this is literally bacteria under a microscope right?

Well if you thought that was sick you're about to come down with a case of "What The f**k Fever" as suddenly the game throws you into absolute chaos. Cars race the opposite way through the track, there's an arrow constantly pointing to absolutely nothing, there's a mini-map in the top right that looks like a game of Centipede is playing out by itself, and then of course there's the graphics which clip in and out of reality so much you'd think Dr. Strange had been messing with the code.

This is. The. Actual. Worst.

Yet to cap off what is an extremely acidic pie to the face of the player are the controls. You acellerate with R1.

Burn this sick filth.