These Video Game Sequels Suck!

5. Devil May Cry 2

Devil May Cry 2
Capcom

How do you take a game that is so beloved and so royally mess it up? The first Devil May Cry was pretty much perfect, so all they had to do was deliver more of the same experience right? Well here’s what I think happened in the boardroom meeting at Capcom when they greenlit this game.

[Executive in a hat and a jacket]

Executive: Well hot damn, this game has sold out quicker than a YouTube channel finding out they can put double ads in at the 10 minute mark. I say Helper, pass it over here so I can take a better look at it. Careful you don- OH YOU DROPPED IT, YOU BUTTERED GOOSE.

What a state. Combat that’s less satisfying? Large open and bland spaces instead of tight and detailed environments? Oh dang it boy, you’ve even broken Dante so he barely talks!

Helper: Oh rats, sorry sir. Maybe we can get the game's original director back on board to fix it?

Executive: Naa I’m sure we can fix it. Give me that roll of tape and let’s get to work.

- SOME TIME LATER -

Executive: There we have it, Devil May Cry 2! Sure, it’s got next to no challenge, a second playable character that’s basically just a recycling of Dante's stages and sure I couldn’t get the bosses right, but you know what? I’m proud of what we’ve done here. Aren’t you?

Helper: I am legally obliged to say yes.

Executive: You’re damn right.

 
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Jules Gill hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.