Boo-frickety-hoo... Footballers. You cannot help but feel sorry for them. Just look at them. Running around with their haircuts on, doing forward rolls, writhing around the pitch and throwing hissy fits at the referee every time he wags his finger at them. Losing finals, breaking legs, unflattering kits, messing their hair up all in the name of soccer. Its heart-breaking to see. Its such a relief when they score and they all get to hug, cuddle and smother each other with kisses and sweet nothings. Even more so when one of the hard-done-to dullards actually manages to win a trophy to go along with all their money and ego. Smiles, tears of joy and almost boundless homoerotica are all on show. Whichever way you look at it being a professional footballer is truly a tear-jerking occupation. For all their millions of pounds, adoring fans and offensively-coloured boots, living out the dream of every kid on the planet can really hit the depths of pure hell. So from top to bottom, lets run through the full gamut of superhuman footballing emotions. From the joyful tears of World Cup winning highs to the fake-tan-smudging lows of just being plain rubbish on the day. Handkerchiefs at the ready
Chris James Peet says hello. His interests include hoping for the best and sitting in chairs. He much prefers moaning to counting his blessings and suffers fools gladly. He also likes to look out of the window and check what's in the fridge but he hates standing up, dripping taps and reality.
