Queens Park Rangers vs Everton - Match Preview

Everton take on Queens Park Rangers at Loftus Road for the 3pm Premier League kick-off.

During €˜The Gold Rush€™ a 1925 Charlie Chaplain classic about a tramp attempting to make his fortune despite his devastating circumstance, Chaplain€™s character, the adorable €˜Tramp€™ settles down to eat a shoe. Boiling it and dissecting it and by all accounts devouring it, he represents a figure settling for and yet hopelessly enjoying the contents of his plate. In football terms, that tramp is Everton. Despite limited funding, Everton have for the past ten years, ignored the morsel of mediocrity served up before them and instead, set about to lick their lips and rub their tummies, consistently satisfied with a plate of €˜substandard€™ rustling it up into a main course of €˜over achievement.€™ In recent weeks, this culinary guile seems to have returned for the Toffees, who maintain their €˜Second Half of the Season Syndrome€™ and look set to be finding all the right ingredients to push for an unlikely European spot. Despite sous-chef Landon Donovan darting back across the pond, Moyes€™s men will be boosted by the potential returns of Leon Osman, Jack Rodwell and new signing Nikica Jelavic and will hope that a fuller squad will mean a fuller stomach and a vital three points come 5.00pm on Saturday afternoon. Q.P.R, by contrast seem destined to be dining out on the scraps left to the dogs of the relegation battle and will hope that the jaws of their quiffed bulldog, Joey Barton, and the sass of their elegant poodle, Adel Tarabat, will be enough to save them from a kick back to the kennels. Whether or not the appointment of Mark Hughes will be enough to secure their Premier League survival remains to be seen, but if the R€™s are to stay in the top tier, Loftus Road needs to become a fortress and Hughes will know that if his tenure at the club is to be anything more than a faint bark, his team has to start biting. Sooner rather than later. A win against the gastronomic tramps from Merseyside would be the perfect treat for the yelping pups of Q.P.R. but they€™ll have to work hard to stop the finding-form Everton from rolling them over and tickling them into submission - a potentially fascinating fixture between cookers and canines awaits. Saturday, 3pm.
Contributor

Jack is an angry young sod, a football fan, a sneering observer, an ambitious sucker and more than anything; he's a man with girly eyeballs, tired hands, too many ties and not enough time.