Hunter Hearst Helmsley? More like Hunter Worst Helmsley, because hes the worst and makes me feel like Im watching a rerun every time he comes out! Just exactly how much have we seen of Hunter over the years? The answer is: a lot. Hes been in the third most pay-per-view matches of all time (158), and the third most Raw matches (377) of all time. And while theres no official record that Ive seen, Id be shocked if he hasnt been on TV more so than any other talent in WWE history. Just think about how many episodes of Raw have opened up with a 20 minute segment involving The Game. The man wrestles like three times a year right now, and he still opens up Raw more often than not. What makes Hunter exceptionally boring is that hes playing the evil authority figure role thats was ran into the ground long ago. Vince McMahon perfected the act back in the late 90s, and yet it continues to dominate the airwaves. Simply, Hunter just doesnt need to be on TV every single week. He would mean more if he was saved for special announcements, or to set up big matches. Unfortunately, with HHH and Steph likely to take over WWE someday, we could be in for another 30 years of Hunter in a prominent TV role. I think I just Pedigreed myself.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
