13. Keep An Eye On That Guitar, Dave
Can you imagine having a Marie Schrader in your family? Being around someone who knows everything can be exhausting. ("Make sure it's the PET-CT. That's what you want.") And if having someone who knows everything in your life isn't stressful enough, Marie was also a kleptomaniac who stole for the fun of it. Marie's thievery first came to Skyler's attention when Skyler tried to return a ridiculous tiara that Marie had "bought" (stolen while wearing a blonde wig) for baby Holly's baby shower. Skyler managed to avoid getting arrested but the worst thing about the whole ordeal was Marie's obnoxious, infuriating insistence when confronted about the theft that she had no idea what Skyler was talking about. It's bad enough when family lies to you, but it's extraordinarily worse when you know with absolute certainty that they are, indeed, lying through their teeth. Marie was a piece of work. When the realtor pulled at Marie's purse after accusing her of stealing a collectible spoon, and the spoon fell out of the purse, Marie shrieked that it was the real estate agent who was in a lot of trouble. Her arrogance is state of the art, isn't it? Marie ended up getting arrested but Hank pulled some strings and got the charges dropped, on the condition that Marie would talk about her troubles with Dave once a week. Frankly, Dave's lucky Marie didn't walk out of his office with his guitar.