The WORST Wrestling Moment Every Year (1989 - 2025)
14. 2012 | John Cena’s Star Wars Promo
Your wrestling fandom is something that you’ve probably hidden from somebody or other.
People don’t just think you’re stupid for watching it - “don’t you know all that stuff is fake?” - they think you are disturbed. The appeal of pro wrestling - which unhelpfully is difficult to articulate - is inexplicable to these people.
The really sad part is that, a lot of the time, they’re right. 10% of professional wrestling is the best thing ever. The black comedy of a great segment, the feeling of bloodlust aroused through its violence, the all-or-nothing hype generated through a great promo: 10% of the time, wrestling elicits an unbeatable high.
Elsewhere, too often, pro wrestling is embarrassing and deserves the kicking it gets. Things are better or blander and safer now, but if you’re a millennial, there’s a good chance you’ve spent a not inconsiderable amount of time locked in self-loathing mode.
John Cena is responsible for so many of these existential crises that the fans who softened towards him over time, informing his universally beloved twilight, should be punished by actually watching the guy in his supposed prime. He was a drastically unfunny, cringeworthy goof.
The Star Wars-inspired promo he aimed at John Laurinaitis ahead of their Over The Limit main event was no fine speech. It was agonising. Cena folded in excruciating voice impressions and dumb analogies as Michael Cole forced himself to laugh. Auteur filmmakers who deliberately set out to unsettle their audience could not create a more effective sound if they spent their entire career trying.
John Cena: a failed stand-up comedian dying onstage who also won 17 World titles.