4. Sky Sports
Sky Sports is the spiritual home of the modern football fan. God only knows what would happen if Jeff and the boys went out of circulation for more than an hour. Having Sky Sports, Sky Go and the Sky Sports app sending you alerts every time an Anzhi player farts is more crucial to the modern football fan than bricks to a house (because you make houses out of other stuff like that glass thing and trees and all sorts, it's mental). The jamboree that is Transfer Deadline Day (it's earned its capitals) might as well be a national holiday now. Jim White provides the commentary to possibly the most bloated game of Chinese Whispers known to man and the modern football fan sits there lapping it up. Some even go down to their teams ground and watch the drama unfold. Hopefully I don't have to explain why this is a flawed concept and move on, I expect you all to be able to work that one out for yourselves. People tend to forget something about Sky Sports. Despite costing a bomb, it's absolute s***. With the exception of Gary Neville, the rest of the crew are ridiculously poor. Let's forget about the Sky Sports news crew, they just read things from a screen and parrot stuff said into their ears, puppets can't be judged (except that one who used to be on Blue Peter). Let's talk about Jeff and his merry band of pundits. Jamie Redknapp is about as insightful as a towel, the last interesting thing Jamie Carragher said was probably an accident and Graham Souness is as dull as dishwater (they don't come up with fresh metaphors so I'm giving up as well). I don't want to get into how much I hate Sky Sports (another time, perhaps) so let's just keep it about the modern football fan. Sky is just another thing that allows the modern football fan make sure he's sounding current. You could sit with 5 of them and hear the same script each time on many topics. E.g. "Joe Hart? He's had a rocky start to the season hasn't he?" You might be able to blame Joe Hart's terrible start to the season on the lack of a decent defence or defensive plan at City but there you go. Unfortunately Sky Sports doesn't always show football, sometimes it breaks and puts cricket on or something. Don't worry, there's a solution for that...