Premier League 2017/18: Every Home Kit Ranked

13. Crystal Palace

PL Feature Copy
Macron/Crystal Palace FC

This slogan seems unnecessarily belligerent from the Eagles - plus Millwall, Charlton, and AFC Wimbledon probably have a thing or two to say about it.

Every player looks utterly despondent, despite having a lovely day out to Crystal Palace Park's 'secret subway' for the shoot. The shrouded setting and gloomy dispositions create the effect of an underground gang smuggling jewels from the 1851 Great Exhibition, albeit one with very nice matching uniforms. They don't call it 'organised' crime for nothing, you know.

The kit itself is standard, though the final version, inevitably, is spoiled by a massive sponsor (an Eastern gambling site. Called 'ManBetX'. Honest). Palace also try to claim ownership of five London boroughs - Bromley, Croydon, Lambeth, Lewisham, and Southwark - via a series of imprints on the back of the shirt. It's all a bit s**t, really.

Betting Firm Count: 5

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.