1. Ali Dia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyI-OfT7zYM Cost: Free Games: 1 Goals: 0 Ali Dia's brief career as a Premiership player is the stuff of football legend. "Like Bambi on ice" is how club legend Le Tissier described the man who replaced him in a November 1996 match against Leeds, while the rest of the world were either wondering how an international player could look so much like a Sunday leaguer or, increasingly, how such a useless had ever convinced anyone that he was an international. Having failed trials at a handful of lower league clubs, Dia decided to just aim big and con a top flight club. A student friend of his phoned Souness claiming to be World Player of the Year George Weah and said that Dia, his "cousin", was available to sign, that he was a former Paris St. Germain player and had multiple caps for Senegal (this is regardless of the fact that Weah is from Liberia). Bizarrely, Souness not only took all this at face value, but even after seeing Dia in training was still happy to put him into the first team. When the reserve match in which Dia was supposed to get run out was called off for a waterlogged pitch, he was put straight into the match day squad for the Premier League match with Leeds. With Le Tissier picking up a knock after half an hour Dia actually made it onto the pitch. Any fans that were excited by the promise of an international forward signed on Weah's recommendation were quickly enlightened about their new star's real quality as he floundered utterly. Dia proved so inept that, despite being himself a substitute, he was brought off after 53 minutes. Dia was released immediately afterwards and eventually wound up playing a handful of games for non-league Gateshead. His Saints playing career lasted all of 20 minutes, but fans of all clubs will never forget the fact that Southampton let a random chancer play in the first team.