The Lie: LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS AMAZING!! The exclamation point was basically invented for Jim White: he's the kind of man whose only setting is over-loud and who probably explodes with near-orgasmic joy at the wonder of his milk turning chocolatey. When he comes on screen, literally every development in even the smallest deal is greeted with the pomp and circumstance of the second coming of Christ. "SHOCKING Developments At Manchester United!" he proclaims, as a youth player goes on loan to Antwerp for a month. "Unbelievable News From QPR!" as Harry Redknapp nips out with a cup of tea for the weather-beaten Sky Sports reporter... And then of course there's the ridiculous image of him taking phone-calls and receiving text messages from his personal sources - suggesting that he has a personal network that literally nobody else is party to. If you believe that, you probably deserve the disappointment.
