1. The One Where He Would Have Stopped That Last Goal..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GVU1qRsSp0 Some managers have a pretty high opinions of themselves, and in reality, some of the finest managers in the history of the game have usually developed an arrogant demeanour as a means to cope with the inevitable and confidence-sapping criticism that comes with the simplest of errors. But few of even those legends - Shankly, Clough, Mourinho - have ever claimed themselves to have near-messianic powers while in the dug-out, because none of them claim to be actual wizards. The same can't quite be said of Pardew however, who spoke in a post-match interview after his side's home loss to Swansea in April 2014 to suggest that his side only lost because he wasn't on the sidelines, having been serving his touchline ban for pushing David Meyler away with his head. The suggestion was roundly and inevitably mocked by fans on Twitter, amidst questions of quite how he would have affected the final goal going in, considering he'd just spent most of the second half of the season doing exactly the opposite. Still, everyone loves a trier. Which other choice Pardew excuses deserve mention on this list? Share your own favourites below in the comments section.